


Merrywetherweather's HSWC Drabbles

by Merrywetherweather



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, tags will be posted in the beginning of each chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-02-24 04:07:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 19,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2567648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merrywetherweather/pseuds/Merrywetherweather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is all the writing I did for the HSWC 2014 while I was on Team Davce<3Karkat. Took me a while to post it all I know but I ended up writing a lot. There's a heck of a lot of poems and a whole lot of short oneshots so enjoy! (Tags and Ratings will be at the beginning of each chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pale DaveKan

**Author's Note:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count:627

“I’m sorry. It’s called WWE?” Kanaya settled herself down next to Dave in front of the television.  
“Yes. As in World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s faker than MTV and absolutely hilarious if you watch it ironically.” Dave was trying to explain to his moirail the delicate line he walked when it came to viewing pseudo smack downs on the television. But Kanaya wasn’t seeing the appeal. She looked confused, if not completely lost.  
“I don’t really understand the enjoyment you take in it. They look like a bunch of sweaty, waxed gorillas throwing and flipping each other around in an oinkbeast pen.”  
“That’s why it’s funny. They’re all flashy and done up beef cakes that are just following choreographed moves. Their acting being bad is what makes it so great.”  
“I’m going to not mention to your sister that you used the words ‘beef cake’ just this once.”  
“Thanks, Kanaya. You’re a saint.”  
“Hmm… Do you think I can make a wrestling persona out of that?”  
“You want a stage name?”  
“How about Saint Suplex?”  
Following along the religious theme Dave chimed in, “Mary Magdal-pinned.”  
“That sounds like another human reference I wouldn’t understand.”  
“You’re right. Sorry. Moonsault Maryam?”  
“That one has a nice ring to it. Let’s do yours now. Dropkick Dave?”  
“Dave the Destroyer.”  
“Alliteration seems to be a safe way to go about making these names.”  
Dave stood up from his place in front of the television. He mimicked reaching up and pulling down a mike like the announcers did. He gave himself an accent and his voice bellowed throughout the room as he addressed his invisible audience, “Ladies and gentlemen, if you will please turn your attention to the center ring we will announce our two champions that will be duking it out this evening! In one corner weighing over 300 pounds, all muscle and no neck Dave the Destroyer!”  
Kanaya brought her hands to her mouth and cheered, “Woo.”  
“And in this corner, our challenger, standing six feet tall and still growing, the baddest vampire in town, Ms. Moonsault Maryam!”  
Kanaya stood up and curtsied, “Why doesn’t your character have a neck?”  
“You’ve seen these guys. They work out too much. Their shoulders end up covering it up. Their necks get absorbed completely.”  
Kanaya chuckled.  
“Alright, now we have to shake hands and the ref needs to tell us he wants to see a nice clean match.”  
Kanaya offered her hand in a very lady-like manner. Dave gently took it and kissed it.  
“I figured that suited your style better.”  
“You were right. We must keep this cordial. Just because your persona is shaped like one of the gorillas on the television doesn’t mean he has to act like one.”  
Dave smiled. “Well then, let’s begin.”  
An hour later Rose came into the room, a cup of coffee in one hand, nursing a hangover from the night before. Startled, she observed the mess before her. Pillows littered the floor and Kanaya stood atop the couch as Dave kneeled dramatically before her pretending to nurse an injured arm.  
“Oh, hello, Rose,” Kanaya took to the air after addressing her matesprit, “Pile driver,” She announced nonchalantly as she brought her elbow down on Dave’s back.  
He hit the floor with an “Oof!” before rolling over and trying to capture Kanaya in a Half Nelson. They ended up exhausted and laughing in a pile, Dave unable to even make a second attempt at holding Kanaya.  
“Kanaya, is there a reason you and my brother have torn apart the living room?”  
“I’m not Kanaya at the moment. I am currently Ms. Moonsault Maryam.”  
“Right. Well, I’ll be needing more coffee if you plan to continue.” Rose left the room while Dave and Kanaya stifled back more laughter.


	2. Feferi and Equius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: None  
> Word Count: 458

“Oh my glub! This darn thing doesn’t seem to be working!” Feferi prodded at the transportalizer with her trident frustrated and a little bit nervous to be stuck in a room with Equius. He had openly shared his views on seadwellers and Eridan had thrown a fit. Even if they weren’t moirails anymore she still wanted to smooth over their relationship and maybe show him not all seadwellers deserved his animosity. She had just made it into his chambers before the lights went out and the transportalizer had stopped working.

“Your highness, that language is quite lewd. Please calm down.”

“But you’re the one sweating towel-fulls. I’d rather not drown in your body fluids tonight.”

“I believe your gills will provide you with the means to survive. I, however, will probably not make it.”

Feferi sighed, “I was exaggerating. You’ll pro-bubbly be fine.” She sat down on the floor and gave up fiddling with the baffling piece of technology.

Equius remained standing and scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“You can sit down with me if you want.”

“Perhaps if you were to ask me a bit more forcefully I’d be willing to comply. Or, well, unwilling, but I’d have to listen to you anyway because of your higher blood caste-”

“Equius.”

The bulky troll seemed to perspire even more. “Yes?”

“Can you please sit with me? I don’t reel-ly care all too much about blood castes.”

Equius moved across the room and sat down next to Feferi. “I won’t sit too close though.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to get you all sweaty and gross.”

“Oh.” Feferi suddenly felt bad about making fun of his sweating problem before. She scooted closer and rested her head on his shoulder. He flinched but didn’t move away. “I don’t actually mind.”

“I-If you would require it of me, I could try and check the wiring that runs through the walls in this room. I might be able to fix the power outage.”

“It’s okay. I can wait for it to pass.” Feferi looked over Equius’ arms. “You’re very strong.”

“Yes, you could say I have quite a lot of… muscles?” Equius tilted his head down and presented Feferi with a broken toothed smile.

Feferi giggled. Equius was surprisingly good at uplifting her spirits. “You’re pretty good at making puns.”

“Nepeta is very insistent on using them when we roleplay.” The lights flickered on and Equius promptly stood up. “Thank you for spending time with me, your highness. I enjoyed it.”

Feferi got up and reached up on her tip toes. She kissed Equius’ cheek. “I enjoyed it too. Let’s hang out again sometime, okay?”

The blue blood flushed and stammered as the fish girl pranced onto the transportalizer, “O-okay.”


	3. Karkat and Crabdad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: Death, Animal Death (Not crabdad though)  
> Word Count:448

“SKREEEEEEEEEEEE CLICK CLICK!”

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing but can’t you just let me try and figure it out on my own?”

The giant crab monster let out a guttural rumbling in the back of its throat.

“No, I will not watch my fucking language! Just stop breathing down my neck! You’re stressing me out!”

The next thing Karkat heard was a loud, “SNAP!” next to his right ear as the creature’s powerful pincers closed behind him.

“That’s it! I give up!” Pushing his papers away from him, Karkat got up from his place at the table and fled from his kitchen. He heard more screeches that followed him up the stairs as he absconded to his respiteblock.

He flopped into his recuperacoon and let his tears fall. He hated math! He was never going to understand it. And his lusus was so annoying, standing over his shoulder as he worked. Karkat knew he was just worried because he had heard Karkat was flunking algebra and was probably trying to help, but it was more stressful than anything else.

A few minutes later there were three loud thuds at his door that sounded like a giant meaty claw rapping on wood. He emerged covered in goo and followed the noise. In hindsight jumping into his recuperacoon might have been a bad idea, but there weren’t many other comfortable spots for him to cry out his frustrations. Flicking some spoor slime off, he opened his door.

There was a dead animal of great magnitude sitting outside of his door. His lusus was trying to smooth things over. He really did care about him after all, and it was such a large carcass. The hunt must have been difficult.

Karkat sighed and tried to sidestep the massive beast, mangled beyond recognition, on his way down the steps. He walked into his kitchen and saw his lusus huddled next to the table, awaiting his arrival. 

Sniffling back more tears, Karkat ran up and hugged the ginormous crustacean. Its pincers settled on his back carefully so that they didn’t poke or prod him. “I’m sorry. I know you’re just trying to help. I’m willing to give it another try if you are. I’m going to need your help.”

His crabdad let out a low rumbling and squatted down next to Karkat’s chair by the table.

“Okay, so for this question, I have no fucking idea what formula I’m supposed to be using.”

His lusus chittered a reply.

“Oh. That’s a pretty useful way to remember when I need to use that. Holy fuck! I think I solved it! I did it!”

The great beast bellowed out praise.

“Thanks, crabdad!”


	4. Kankri and Rufio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: None  
> Word Count: 413

“Ahem!” Kankri cleared his throat, announcing his presence to Rufioh and hinting that he was about to deliver a huge torrent of text. His face was kind of flushed, a light red dusting his cheeks. He was hunched over and appeared meek. Kankri wasn’t one for being shy, right?

“W-”

“Ah. It’s very good to see you today, Rufioh. I wanted to discuss something with you that might be of interest to the both of us. Possible triggers for this may include #Troll romance, #Flushed feeling, and-”

“Yo! Hold up! Kankri, you are at a ten. You need to be at, like, a three or a two. Just take a second to chill. Also, I don’t need the entire trigger list for our conversation. Just tell me what’s on your mind.”

Kankri played with the edge of his sweater. “Right. Okay, so I don’t want to offend you in any way, so I guess just tell me if I’ve triggered you somewhere along the way. So, you may or may not know about my vow of celibacy, but that does not mean I am not willing to date or ever be interested in possible relationships with other trolls, ah, or species as I am currently trying to be inclusive to our new human friends. Although, the term ‘species’ makes it seems like I could be interested in animals so maybe that’s not the right word. Does this trigger you? Should I be tagging our conversation with #Bestiality? Not that I’m fully delving into the subject but we just broached upon it accidently and I didn’t want to offend-”

Rufioh sighed and put his head in his hands. “Kankri, what is the point of all this?”

“Oh, sorry. I started to ramble. That sometimes happens when I get nervous. I just, I think I pity you. I think I pity you and would like to be in a quadrant with you. Was that confession okay? I think I paced it well enough but if you need it worded differently or-”

Rufioh cut him off by swiftly pressing their lips together. Kankri let out an indignant huff but allowed him to continue. As they parted, Kankri opened his mouth again, “You should have tagged that.” He blushed and looked down. “It was very triggering.”

Rufioh pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. How could someone so annoying be this cute right now? “I’ll make sure I tag it next time.”

“N-next time?”

Rufioh winked.


	5. Bro and Baby Dave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: None  
> Word Count: 453

Shit. Shit. What the hell do babies eat? Babies don’t eat pizza, right? If I puree it would it eat it? 

Bro looked at the infant sitting on his carpet and currently sucking on the proboscis of one of his smuppets. “Get that out of your mouth. You don’t know where it’s been.”

The baby threw the plush down in defiance and stared up at his new guardian. At least the kid was smart. But now it was looking at him. Jesus dick! What the hell did it want from him? What should he do? Let’s see. What do people usually do when a baby is born? But this is a space baby. It came riding in on a goddamn meteor. This is like fuckin super baby or some shit.

They usually check the babies gender first, right? Bro looked the kid over. He wasn’t gonna do that. That felt weird. He’d just have to give the kid a unisex name.

“Dave Elizabeth Strider?” Oh, yeah. That’ll work. One boy name and one girl name counts as a unisex name right?

The baby stared back up at him and flopped backwards so he could continue watching Bro from a more comfortable position.

“You like pizza, Dave? I’m gonna puree you some leftover pizza.” Bro picked Dave up and carried him to a play pen. He placed him in with Lil’ Cal for company and set about making the kid a wholesome meal. As he was pressing the blend button on his blender he felt something grab his ankle and he jumped. Dave had somehow managed to climb out of his pen, scurry across the floor, and attach himself to Bro’s leg. “What the hell kind of baby are you? Babies don’t do this sort of shit… I think.”

Bro picked Dave up and carried him over to a pile of books he had stacked in the living room. He flipped through his recent buy, a baby raising book. He grew increasingly agitated as he continued flicking through pages. “There is nothing in here about babies pulling ninja moves or flash stepping. Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Dave, we are gonna just have to deal. I will treat you with as much respect as I can possibly treat a small human that shits in its own diaper and is completely dependent on another living being if you will give me the respect I deserve in turn. Surely, I can reason with you.”

Dave reached up and patted Bro’s shades, giggling madly.

Bro broke his poker face and pulled Dave in for a hug. “Shit. I really fucked up. I think I really like you, kid. I just hope I can raise you right.”


	6. Dirk and John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: None  
> Word Count: 455

“So, how about it? You wanna hop on and take a ride?” Dirk stood on his rocket board looking down at John from a foot in the air.

“I don’t know. Are there any foot holds?”

“Nope. You’d have to hold on tight since a beginner balancer, like yourself, would just fly right off.”

John chuckled. He knew where this was going. More like he knew where Dirk was trying to take this. Unfortunately, John thought of another, more entertaining route this could take. “Alright, smooth guy. You’ve convinced me. Take me on a magic carpet ride.”

“Sweet.” Dirk leaned down and gave John his hand, helping him up onto the board and easily redistributing his balance with the added weight. “Now, hang on tight.”

“Please! I’m the Heir of Breath. I can fly and control the breeze at my whim. You don’t think I can handle a little wind resistance and high flying?”

“Alright, but I warned you.” Dirk leaned forward and the board took off. John grabbed at Dirk’s shirt, surprised at the sudden start. “Can’t keep your hands off me, John?”

“You are one smug bastard.”

“Thank you.” John saw a hint of a smile as Dirk brought the board higher and started to drift it next to a cloud. “You wanna touch it?”

“That sounds like an innuendo and not really. I can touch clouds whenever I want.”

Dirk sighed, “Dude, I’m trying to be romantic here.”

John reached his hand up and ran his fingers through the cloud. “Wow. This is so cool, Dirk. You are so cool.”

Dirk snorted and pressed his board to fly faster. John pulled his hand back, cold and wet, sinking to his knees and hugging Dirk’s waist. They were really bookin it. At his current vantage point, John noticed that he had been presented with the perfect opportunity to perform the prank he had planned.

His hands subtly travelled to the waistband of Dirk’s pants and without warning he pulled them to his ankles. “Panced!”

“Shit!” Dirk’s board wobbled and John cracked up, hands still tightly gripping the fabric. “John you pull my pants back up or I swear I will turn this board around.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Have it your way.” Casually, Dirk twisted the board so that they were flying upside down. John shrieked and pulled his boyfriend’s pants back up before wrapping his arms around Dirk once more. Dirk flipped the board back to an upright position and called back to John, “I thought you said you could handle this, breeze boy?”

John rested his head on Dirk’s back. “You’re an ass.”

Dirk reached around and ran his fingers through John’s hair, ruffling it up before answering, “Yeah, I know.”


	7. Dave and Bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: Incest  
> Word Count: 434

Dave lay back on the roof of his building trying to hide in the shade of the run down air conditioning unit that was supposed to be cooling his home. At least he was trying to get out of it some semblance of its intended function. The record breaking summer heat had murdered it and it was too hot to just sit in the stuffy confines of the Striders’ apartment. So Dave and Bro had resorted to lying topless on their roof, waiting for a repairman to show up.

Dave groaned and looked over at his Bro who had the hose in one hand and was splashing water down his chest. “Dude, can’t you share?”

“No. Perks of being the oldest.”

“Urrrrgh!” Dave threw his arms over his face dramatically. “But, Bro, I’m dying.”

He felt a gush of liquid rain down on him and he sat bolt upright snorting out water from his nose. “Quit bitching.”

“Are you fucking serious? At least share a little more then.” The water had felt like a blessing.

Bro sighed and leaned back. Dave watched as the water trickled down his brother’s neck and down his chest, sliding along his abdominals, and following the curve of his pelvis muscles. Fuck. Where was he taking that thought?

“Damn.”

Bro raised a questioning eyebrow over his shades.

“It’s nothing, it’s just you have some pretty nice assets. Probably drives women crazy.”

Bro let out a snort. “Yeah, men too.” He reached up and pulled his shades down to wink at Dave.

Dave tensed up. He felt his heart stammer in his chest. He had to admit, his Bro knew how to put on the charm.

Bro stood up and went to turn off the hose.

“Where ya going?”

“Air conditioning guy’s here. I should probably go meet him downstairs.”

“How do you know he’s here? Is it your ninja senses tingling again?”

Bro’s face remained impassive as he pointed to the streets below. “No. I can see his car pulling up to the apartment complex’s parking lot.”  
Dave stood up and looked over the edge of the building. “Oh. I think I’m gonna head inside too. Maybe listen to some music to distract from the heat.” Dave moved past his Bro and made for the door. He felt a hand squeeze his right ass cheek and squeaked, turning around to face Bro. “What the hell was that for?”

Bro was actually smiling down at him. “You’ve got some nice assets too, kid.” He strolled over to the door and left Dave on the roof flustered and planning his revenge.


	8. Pale Davekat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: None  
> Word Count: 734

“Why are my horns bigger than yours? Does horn length equate to dong length? I bet it does.”

“Will you shut the fuck up? I am trying to fiddle with this shitty and highly advanced piece of technology that you so elegantly button mashed. What the hell did you do?”

“I trollified myself.”

“I can see that! I was referring to the order of mashing you applied to the buttons to end up with this result.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much. Ouch.”

“What? What’s wrong? What did you do now?”

“I bit my lip. My teeth are pretty sharp. Now we can be, like, overbite buddies or some shit.”

Karkat sighed and gave up messing with the machine. He strolled over to Dave and cupped his face in his hands. Dave tensed up but didn’t move away. “That sometimes happens when you get anxious. Are you kind of freaked out about being a troll right now?”

“I am not freaked out. I am super chill. Strider’s don’t get anxious.”

“Yeah well you’re bleeding so you can admit to being a little thrown off of your “Strider game” or whatever. Hmm... You have red blood. I guess tampering with the machine didn’t change your blood color.” Karkat gently patted the side of Dave’s face twice. “It’s okay so calm down. Maybe it’ll wear off, and if it doesn’t we can have Rose use her seer powers to find the correct button mashing route.”

Dave visibly relaxed, shoulder’s sinking lower. “What the hell? Can you do that again?”

“Do what? Pap you?”

“Yeah. Do that again. That was like mad comforting.” Karkat lightly papped his cheek and shooshed him. Dave let out a sigh of relief. “Why does that feel like that? Like I’m letting out stress?”

“It’s part of your biology now. If trolls weren’t able to be so easily consoled, highbloods would be going on murder sprees all the time. Also,” Karkat reached a hand up and brushed his fingers along Dave’s horns. He let out a purr, “your horns are a pretty good place for relieving stress as well.” A thought passed through Karkat’s mind and he asked Dave, “Hey, do you want to make a pile?”

“I have no idea why but yeah. Let’s do it.” The pair gathered up all the materials they could find. Mostly their pile consisted of randomly scattered papers and chunks of broken metal. They laid down and settled in. “I never would have guessed lying on scrap metal could be this comfortable.”

“Yeah, that’s the magic of piles. You set them up and then you’re ready for a feelings jam.” Karkat turned to face Dave. “So, what do you want to jam about?”

“Explain your strange alien biology to me. I wanna know what’s goin on pretty much everywhere, but mostly in my junk region.”

Karkat groaned thinking of a good place to start. “Yeah, well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed by now but you actually have both a nook and a bulge. That’s standard troll genitalia equipment. I believe your equivalent would be the female vagina and the male phallus.”

“I can’t believe I just got you to say vagina and phallus. Now, I know where my nook is but where’s the bulge located?”

“It’s hidden right now. It hides under a bone plate. Thus the entirety of the plate and the bulge are called a bone bulge.”

“Gotcha. He’s just shy and doesn’t want to come out right now. So, what are shame globes cause I’ve heard you use the term before when you go on rants.”

“They’re inside of your nook. When you finally orgasm they should release genetic material to be collected in a filial pail.”

Dave nodded. “Alright. Okay. This is so strange.”

“A troll’s ability to adapt kicks in very quickly. You should be able to understand yourself completely in a few days. It’s another thing that makes trolls infinitely better than humans.”

Dave blew air out of his nose. “Yeah, alright. I’m still going to have Rose give that machine a look since I kind of miss my dick.” He moved closer and rested his head on Karkat’s shoulder, trying to be careful about where his horns were. “Thanks for helping me figure out what was going on with my body though.”

Karkat reached up and gave him a few paps, feeling incredibly pale for Dave. “No problem.”


	9. Dave, Gamzee, and Tavros Get High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: Drugs  
> Word Count: 575

“How can, like, balloons even be a thing? I mean, they’re all motherfuckin pieces of the air in rubber sacks. Why would you do that? Why would you compartmentalize the fuckin air? How motherfuckin into organization do you even gotta be to do a thing like that?”

Gamzee passed the pie tray of spoor slime over to Tavros again. There was only a little left but the juggalo probably had more stowed away in his sylladex. “Well, uh, I guess it’s okay cause they can fly. I can kind of see why balloons are a thing. I mean, I’d like to fly if I could.” Tavros took a scoop of the slime and stuffed it into his mouth.

Dave nodded like Tavros had rationalized every doubt he had previously held. “Damn, Tav, that has to be the reason balloons are a thing. No other explanation could possibly exist.”

“Yeah and, uh, I bet that if we used the balloon’s powers of flight we could fly too.”

Gamzee’s droopy eyes widened and a goofy grin spread across his face. He had a smudge of green slime on his cheek. “Let’s do it. Let’s use the power of the balloons to make your dream a reality. It’ll be a miracle.”

Gamzee, Dave, and Tavros travelled up the steps of Gamzee’s hive until they stood on the roof. Gamzee pulled out balloons from his sylladex and Dave started to tie them to Tavros’ arms.

“These are, like, so motherfuckin colorful. I don’t know why I ever was hatin on these things. Look at how happy they’re makin me. And look at how happy your future self’s gonna be when they help you take to the sky and motherfuckin fly, Tav.”

“Uh, I’m starting to think that maybe this was a bad idea. The ground is pretty far away from the roof and if this doesn’t work, I might die?”

Dave pulled Tavros’ face close to his and tried to sound serious. “Tav, you are meant to be flyin and followin your dreams, just like pupa pan. You just gotta believe in yourself. Call upon your spirit guide Rufio and get him to sprinkle some confidence on your miraculous ass.”

“He’s not really a spirit guide. He’s more like my confidence personified. And mostly he’s fake so that might not be a good idea either.”

“No, Tav. Rufio is real. I can see him right now wavin at us in the air and beckonin you to join him in flight.”

“Really?”

Gamzee answered, “Yeah, motherfucker. I see him too and I sure as hell ain’t ever gonna lie to you.”

“O-okay. Here I go!” Tavros leapt from the roof. “Fly, Pupa! Flyaaaaaaaah!” Slowly, Tavros began to drift down.

Gamzee and Dave joined his screams until they were a bunch of fools running around flustered and yelling.

“Don’t worry, Tav! I’m gonna run down and catch you!” Gamzee disappeared from the roof and hurried down the stairs as Tavros continued to shriek. He eventually floated down into the arms of Gamzee while Dave cheered from the roof.

“That was the most frightening thing I’ve ever experienced,” Tavros said untying the balloons from his arms.

“I know. I thought I wasn’t gonna motherfuckin make it in time to catch you, you were fallin so fast.” They stared up at the balloons and watched as they floated away completely forgetting the moment of sheer panic that had gripped them all moments before.  
Edited 2014-05-19 10:36 pm (UTC)


	10. Eridan and Cronus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: Blood  
> Word Count: 413

“I hate you so flippin much! You’re even scummier than I am!” Eridan threw his hands up dramatically, berating his dancestor for asking him out and then attempting to hit on some other troll’s ghost.

“Yeah, well, what can I say? I have too much charm to stop my playboy ways,” Cronus spoke smugly around his unlit cigarette.

“Ha! That’s a laugh! You don’t have ‘playboy ways’. You have get-rejected-cause-you’re-an-obnoxious-tool ways! Cronus? More like… human anus!”

“How dare you!”

“It’s not my fault your name rhymes with ‘human anus’. If you’re going to be a shitty troll, you deserve to be called a shitty name.”

“Calling me ‘human anus’ is too cruel. It almost sounds like you’re making fun of my true humankin nature. I think I ought to call Kankri over here and give you an earful about how to treat someone who feels like they were born in the wrong body!”

“Go a-fuckin-head! You’ll pro-bubbly just end up hittin on him too! Poseidon’s dick, you are so full of bullshit! You think you’re such hot shit when you always get rejected, act like a prick, and then hide behind this whole humankin thing you’ve made up to score some sympathy points. I am so far from even thinkin about bein flushed for you anemone-more. I’m practically pitch!”

Cronus bit down on the cigarette and clenched his fist. “I’m so fuckin pissed. I think I’m actually gonna punch you right now!”

Eridan raised an arm. “Not if I punch you first!”

The two simultaneously threw their punches. It was like the final fight scene from “The Lion King” where Simba and Scar bitch slapped the shit out of each other on Pride Rock. But instead of someone coming out on top, the pair just fell to their knees, cradling their swollen faces and muttering obscenities.

“Holy whale bulge! That fuckin hurt!” Eridan felt his eyes water and his glasses fell to the ground, one lens cracked. “I cannot believe you would hit a guy with glasses!”

“Stop your bitchin, chief. We both know those are for accessorizing.” Cronus wiped away some violet blood that had begun to drip from his nose. “Tch! Now look what you’ve done! You made my nose bleed. And all over my nice white shirt. How the hell do you plan on compensating for this?”

Eridan smirked triumphantly. “Well, as I am currently in the throes of the darkest, blackest of pitch feelings for you, I won’t be.”


	11. Dirk and Jake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: None  
> Word Count: 527

Dirk threw down his wrench in frustration and swabbed his forehead with a dirty rag. “It isn’t working. What’s wrong with it?” He had been working on the same robot for three days straight, pouring over every engineering book he had and surviving on nothing but Doritos. He was beginning to lose hope he’d ever have the thing up and running.

“Do you think you should take a break? Maybe after a nap you’ll feel right and dandy enough to fix up your contraption properly.” Jake was trying to keep him company. Dirk could tell Jake was bored but he always became a bit obsessed with his work, especially if it was particularly challenging. He couldn’t find it in him to stop.

“If I take a break now, I might lose my train of thought. I could be onto something and solve the problem any minute.”

“Or you could be causing yourself more stress.” Jake strolled over to the robot and put a hand to his chin, looking like he was deep in thought. “Could I take a look at it?”

Dirk groaned and planted himself down in a chair exhausted. “What the heck. Go for it, English. It’s not like I’m making any progress right now.”

“Alright then!” Jake felt around the outer shell of the robot. Dirk stared at him bewildered. There was no way he would be able to discern what obstacle was stopping the highly advanced piece of machinery from working. Jake may have spent some time fiddling with robotics but most of his knowledge was limited to what his grandma taught him. “Ah ha!” Jake grinned and pulled away from the hunk of metal as it began to hum and whir to life.

“How did you manage to-” Dirk stood up from his seat and ran a hand through his hair. He was probably staining it with oil but he couldn’t care less right now.

“I just looked for the switch and flipped it on. It seems it was off the entire time!”

Dirk felt the twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth, threatening to spread across his lips. He grabbed Jake by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. “You’re a god damn genius.”

Jake looked bashfully off to the side and gave him a clumsy smile. “Not really. I was just thinking it would be nice if I could solve the problem for you so you could get some sleep and I happened upon the doohickey that fixed it.”

Dirk sighed and suddenly felt himself crash, all his strength leaving him as he rested his head on Jake’s shoulder. “I love you.” He mumbled into Jake’s shirt.

“What was that, chum?”

“I said, ‘I’m sorry if I get oil on you.’”

“Ah. Don’t worry about it! I think you look quite fetching with all those black smudges marring your body. Very rough and tumble looking.”

Dirk pulled away and peered over his shades at Jake. “Well. If you aren’t opposed to it, I’d very much like to see how you look covered in oil streaks. I don’t mind sharing smudges.”

“Mr. Strider!”


	12. Sollux and Mituna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: Vomiting, Mind Control (implied)  
> Word Count: 726

“So, I can’t really see anything. You’re gonna have to be my eyes during these lessons.”

Mituna giggled uncontrollably. “But I can’t really see anything either!”

Sollux sighed. “That’s because your bangs are too long and they get pushed down over your face when you wear your helmet. Maybe you should take it off for now?”

He heard Mituna throw his hands over his head and pat the helmet in place. “No! I can’t be without it. I might hit my head if I mess up. I’m probably going to mess up…”

“Okay, look. I don’t think you’re going to mess up. Your powers are definitely still inside you. They’re just lying dormant right now. If we can tap into your full potential we may be able to bring them out again.” Mituna was mumbling nervously. “Plus, I’ll be here the whole time so I’ll make sure nothing goes wrong.”

“Well, okay. If you say so.” A second later Sollux heard the helmet hit the ground. “I can see everything so much clearer. I don’t like it.”

“Yeah, well I’d kill for eyesight right now so just deal with it. The first thing I’m going to do is try and make a connection with your powers through mine. It’ll be kind of like fishing and if I succeed in hooking it, all I have to do is reel it in. Fuck. I have spent way to long with Feferi. I can’t be thinking about all this fishy shit.”

Mituna guffawed. “Someone has lady issues!”

“Shh. I need quiet so I can concentrate.”

“Sorry.” Mituna’s voice went meek like he’d been hit.

“It’s fine. I just really want to help you so I don’t have to watch my dancestor floundering around anymore.”

“You used another fish pun just now. Whoops! Right. I’ll be quiet.”

Sollux took a deep breath and tried to focus his psionic abilities on Mituna. He was searching through the dark. He was struggling but he just couldn’t feel the light ahead. It had to be there! Suddenly, traveling through Mituna’s mind grew harder and he seemed to be slowly moving through a miasma of sorts. It was like trying to walk through water.

“G-GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” Sollux heard Mituna shriek and fall to his knees. Something was wrong. Something was blocking him out.

“HONK.”

“Shit!” Sollux had barely heard it. It was an audible honking noise clouding the insides of his mind and blocking him out. He only knew one troll that honked, personally, but it didn’t exactly sound like Gamzee and he was pretty certain that the highblood didn’t have any special powers.

Sollux continued to push further on, despite Mituna’s protests. He almost felt it. Ah ha! There it was! Finally, he had found the spark he had been searching for! He threaded his powers with Mituna’s and then hit the ground as Mituna threw his entire weight into him. He let out an, “Oof!” as the air was knocked out of him and felt his powers pull back, only managing to drag out a small thread of Mituna’s powers with them.

No. No. NO. He had been so close!

Mituna rolled off of him and wretched onto the grass beside him. “I feel funny.”

Sollux felt around until he found Mituna and rubbed circles into his back. “You’ve got something strong blocking me out. I only was able to pull out a small part of your powers. I don’t know if you’ll ever fully be able to get them back since the part I did save broke off from the rest.”

Mituna breathed out in relief, calming down from his earlier fit. “That’s okay. It was worth a shot. Sorry I pushed you down.”

Sollux felt Mituna take his hand and pull him into a standing position. He felt a jolt run up his arm. “Yowch!” He pulled away startled. “Mituna, you shocked me.”

“Sorry.”

“No. Mituna. You SHOCKED me! I mean it was only a little zap but you can still use some of your powers now even if it’s just barely enough to get Cronus to leave you alone.”

Mituna perked up and threw his arms around Sollux. “Thank you, dancestor! I can’t wait to show Latula! Do you think it’ll make her happy?”

Sollux couldn’t help grinning just a bit. “Yeah, I’m sure it will.”


	13. Eridan and Feferi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: Blood, Character Death, Puncturing of the skin  
> Word Count: 442

“Flower gleam and glow…”

He’s started singing to you again. You love it when he sings. Eridan had such a gentle voice. It was a shame he didn’t count singing among his regular hobbies, most of which included things like genocide and military tactics. But as you dyed the front of his hair a fashionable violet, he continued on almost absentmindedly.

“Let your power shine…”

You briefly wonder where he learned the song or if he made it up himself. You didn’t really take him for the type to write lyrics, but then again, you also didn’t expect him to be able to sing.

“Make the clock reverse…”

He always sung this particular song when you played with his hair. Just his hair and nothing else. Maybe it was comforting? The smell of chemicals drifted up lazily and wafted around your nose. His hair always smelled nice. Even under the chemicals you could smell the beach in his hair, like the ocean breeze at sunset.

“bring back what once was mine…”

You bet that even if you wanted to interrupt him to ask about the song he wouldn’t even notice. You just got some dye on his horns and he didn’t even feel it. He’ll probably come to call on you and complain about it later but that’s fine. Maybe he’ll let you run your fingers through his soft hair and sing for you again.

“Heal what has been hurt…”

For some reason this part always breaks your heart. It makes you want to cry and the way he sings it just absolutely blows you away.

“change the fate's design…”

You hug him from the back. Does he sing it because he’s worried you might leave him one day? Does he think you’re going to run off on him and tell him to just deal with all his problems on his own? Is he scared?

“Save what has been lost…”

You think you’re actually starting to cry now. You feel tears welling up at the corners but you refuse to let them fall. Instead you run your hands through his hair again.

“bring back what once was mine…”

Your fingers stop traversing his locks and you freeze up. This nostalgic feeling bubbles inside of you and overflows. This isn’t entirely real. You’ve finally realized it. You’re inside a dream bubble. Eridan tilts his head back, like you already knew he would, and stares up at you with a sad smile and your tears finally overflow. A gaping hole forms at your stomach and fuchsia blood crusts around it. His eyes fade to white and he finishes his song,

“What once was mine.”


	14. Signless and Darkleer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags:Blood,Character Death,Depictions of Violence, Mutilation: Puncturing of the Skin, Violence to Hands  
> Word Count: 654

They shuffled him through the crowd of highbloods lusting for bloodshed and lowbloods that had given up searching for hope. The Signless. In the flesh he was not as intimidating as Darkleer had expected. He was rather short in stature and his horns were small and rounded, like they had been sanded down. He was an abomination. His red mutation dripped from whip marks and claw lacerations that marred his dark skin. Darkleer felt a prickling of platonic pity for him before pushing the feeling away. The Signless was a mutant and he, a blueblood. He would also be playing the role of the troll’s E%ecuter as well.

All of the emotions of guilt and empathy should have been drained from him entirely by now. But as he looked behind The Signless, his eyes landed on a creature that invoked a pale panging in his bloodpusher. Her hair was long and unruly and her horns were shaped like a purrbeast’s. This was undoubtedly The Signless’ Disciple, the girl that followed him around with quill and parchment in hand wherever he went, writing down his every word, and falling further in love with him with every sermon he gave.

She didn’t have any writing materials now. Her hands were held behind her by other trolls, guiding the party to their deaths. One of them pushed forward The Signless and the crowd cheered. As they continued to shove him along he passed by Darkleer. Suddenly, he grabbed his arm and he spoke to him, “You see that girl?” Darkleer couldn’t seem to fight against his body as his head turned toward The Disciple and he rested his eyes on her shaking form. “You will not harm that girl. I know it already. You will not.”

The highbloods shackled his wrists in hot irons and raised him for all to see. Among the chaotic noises ringing around him Darkleer could barely hear the last sermon The Signless would ever give. He cursed the sky and the people around him. He cursed the blood caste system and all that stood in favor of it. He cursed everything.

Then Darkleer was given a signal and he fired an arrow. For the first time in his career his aim was off and the arrow planted itself in The Signless’ side. He shrieked in pain and brought his head up to look at Darkleer. But his eyes did not hold any animosity towards him. It was almost as if he was saying, “Except for you. You are the only one I will not curse. Because you will save her. You will spare her.”

Finally, The Signless released his last breath, a great, mournful howl that muffled all the other sounds, and his head fell forward, body going slack. The highbloods roared triumphantly. A great wail suddenly arose from his right and he looked to find The Disciple clutching at The Signless’ discarded robes. She was muttering to herself. They sounded like the words of the last sermon. It was as if she were trying to engrave his last words on her heart if she could not write them down with pen and paper.

Another signal was given to him and he hesitated but raised his bow, pointing the tip towards the wild-eyed olive blood. She continued to ramble out his words as if in prayer and stared right through him.

Through all the words The Signless had just spoken only the ones he had said in passing Darkleer had haunted him. “You will not kill that girl.”

He lowered his bow. “Run!” He screamed at the girl and she stood up in a trance, fleeing with the rags like a frightened animal. He was going to lose his job if not his life for this. And the saddest part was that The Disciple would probably never remember him, too preoccupied with remembering every last word The Signless had left her with.


	15. Bro and Dave 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: Incest, Sexual Content, Age Gap  
> Word Count: 972

“Yeah, so I’m gonna need you to strip and just kind of pose nude for a little bit.” Dave smirked and waggled his camera around, indicating his medium of choice to capture said poses.

Bro sighed and leaned forward over the kitchen counter, throwing his head in his hands. “Why?”

“It’s for a class.”

“Yeah, sure. But I meant more of why it had to be me.”

“Bro, come on. You need to play the role of my supportive parent. Be the father we never had. Spread yourself naked across the furniture like you want to be drawn like one of my French girls in the name of brotherly reassurance. I need to know you are accepting of my life choices or I might end up selling tricks for a living.”

Bro raised an eyebrow over his shades.

“Plus, no one else agreed to do it when I asked.”

“And you thought I would?”

“Well, I mean you post puppet porn to the internet so I figured you’d be like the go to guy for shit like this.”

“Ugh. Fine. Where are we doing this?”

“The living room’s fine. Just remove your clothes first so we can get started.” Bro flung his hat off and then pulled off his shirt. Dave looked at him through his camera. “Shades too.”

“You taking pictures of me stripping?” Bro said gently placing the sunglasses beside his shirt.

“Depends if I like what I see.”

“Well do you like what you see?” Bro asked unbuttoning his pants.

Dave shrugged. “You’re alright. Kind of old and wrinkly.”

“What the hell are you talking about? I have the skin of a new born and the abdominals of Chris Hemsworth. What kind of college education am I paying for if you can’t even see how aesthetically pleasing I am?”

“Alright! Stop whining and drop trou.” Bro did as he was told. He put his hands on his hips and suddenly felt very self-aware. It was one thing to appear naked on his own terms in front of an internet community of perverts. It was a whole other thing to stand nude in front of his adopted brother’s wandering eyes. “Just stand naturally first. I want something simple to start.” Bro took his hands off his hips and set them at his sides. It felt kind of awkward. He wasn’t moving or anything. Just being watched. Dave’s camera went off and he whistled. “Perfect. Now put one hand on your opposite hip like your twisting. I want a picture of the body in motion.”

“I feel ridiculous.” Bro followed the order obediently regardless of his protests.

Click. Click. “Just go with it. You’re doing fine.” Bro took a deep breath. “Try to make more eye contact with the camera. Your eyes are a striking color and I want some ferocity in these pictures so crank up the intensity and try to draw me in.”

What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Bro focused his gaze on the camera lens. He gave it a look he might have used to seduce a partner. Maybe that was what Dave meant?

“That’s good. Oh shit. Hey, Bro, your private his standing at attention.”

Bro looked down. Fuck. He was getting hard. “What can I say? I guess I have a thing for being watched. I mean I do make sex vids for a living.”

“Do you want to take care of that or?”

“What’s ‘or’?”

“Well, I mean we could continue. But the shots might end up being more pornographic in nature than artistic. I could also, you know, help.” Bro ran his fingers though his hair and Dave took another photo. “Sorry, that was a pretty attractive pose.”

Bro crossed his arms. “So, you wanna help, huh? That isn’t unprofessional?”

“Are you kidding? It’s totally professional. The faster we relieve you the faster I can get back to taking pictures.” Bro juggled the options in his head. “So? What’ll it be?”

“What the hell. Go for it. You wanna get me off so you can take more nudes for your strange art class, then I guess I won’t be the restrictive parent that tells you no. I’ll be the shitty guardian that wonders how incestuous this actually is.”

Dave strung the camera around his neck and got down on his knees in front of Bro. “It isn’t that incestuous. We aren’t even really related. You plucked me from a meteor, remember?”

“Sure, kid.” Dave took Bro’s dick in one of his hands and slipped the head of it in his mouth. Bro looked to the ceiling and groaned more out of frustration than sexual pleasure.

“Hey, Bro.” Bro looked down at Dave and a flash momentarily obscured his eyesight. Dave had his camera pointed up at his face. “That’ll make a pretty picture.”

“Just get back to sucking me off.”

Dave chuckled but continued to take Bro into his mouth. He teased the tip with his tongue before trying to deep throat him. He pulled off and then slid back down and tried to keep up the motion at an even pace. Bro wove his fingers into Dave’s hair and grunted. Dave was pretty skilled.

With a moan, Bro released inside of Dave’s mouth. Dave coughed but managed to swallow most of Bro’s spunk, only having to wipe off a dribble that slid down his chin. “Well, I got a nice pic of your orgasm face.”

“Wait. What? When the hell did you take that?”

“You were pretty distracted. I’m gonna say it happened while your eyes were fluttering in pleasure. You were probably seeing white and not a whole lot else.”

“You’re really good at tooting your own horn.”

Dave stood up and looked through the pictures on his camera. “Yours too if these photos are anything to go by.”


	16. John and Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: Violence to eyes  
> Word Count: 506

Here he comes. He’s looking around nervously, his brow furrowed in apprehension. He looks like he’s trying not to seem scared. He totally is though. Karkat let out a nervous sigh and John fought back the urge to chuckle. He was going to scare the shit out of him!

John had applied to the haunted house that his neighborhood amusement park always set up in the fall and was excited to learn that his application had been accepted. It had been his dream job since he was four to be the ghost that jumps out at people at the end of the ride, just when they thought it was supposed to be over. And now here came Karkat, picking at his nails and looking a bit flustered. He must have heard John was working there and came to scope him out.

John checked his make-up in a fun house mirror he had “borrowed” from another attraction. Every inch of him was covered in powder and he had fake blood dripping down from his eyes and the corner of one of his mouths. He looked a fright and absolutely perfect for his role.

As Karkat approached his position, John pressed a button on the fog machine he’d been allowed to bring with him to work. When the people running the haunted house heard John wanted to bring his own equipment they were ecstatic. A white layer of smoke drifted out, covering the ground and winding around Karkat’s feet.

Karkat paused his steps, eyes darting around, watching the smog fill the area. “J-John? Is that you?”

John covered his mouth to stifle his laughter and pressed a button on his stereo. An eerie wailing echoed throughout the space and Karkat’s fists clenched at his sides as he stood ramrod straight.

“John, I swear to your pitiful earth human god I am not amused. If you’re there, say something.”

John readied himself behind a black curtain that blended in with the walls around it. Karkat, unable to receive an answer shuddered and continued walking. His pace had picked up from when John had first spotted him.

As Karkat was passing by his scaring spot, John reached out and rested a hand on Karkat’s shoulder, poking his head out and giving him an open mouthed, wide eyed stare. “Karkaaaaaat!”

“MOTHERFUCKING, NOOKLICKING TROLL CHRIST!” Karkat swung his arm and his fist hit John square in the eye. He fell backwards ad hit the ground hard. “John?” Karkat asked tentatively pushing back the curtain and peeking in at him. John groaned in response. “You okay?” Another groan answered him. Karkat leaned down and cradled John’s head in his lap. “I am so fucking sorry. Please don’t actually turn into a ghost.”

“I’m not gonna die!” John rubbed at his face. It was swelling. “You just have a really powerful right hook.”

Karkat bent down and kissed the bruise that was beginning to form on John’s face. “Scare me like that again and you’ll learn that my left hook is just as powerful.”


	17. Dave, Kanaya, and Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: None  
> Word Count: 612

Dave shuffled around in the swants admiring the sag at the crotch. They were so ironic it hurt. “Look how unbelievably shitty these are.”

Rose was looking at her pair in a full body mirror. “I think the uglier the sweater the more spectacular the swants.”

Dave nodded in agreement. “That’s why mine are made from that hideous Christmas sweater you knitted for me last year.”

“Oh, brother, I knew you’d love it.”

“I gotta say, these are kind of more impressive than Karkat’s dancestor’s pants. I mean, have you seen those slacks? They go up to his armpits. Tried to persuade him to let me try them on. But I think they’re permanently rooted into his crotch. Gonna need an excavation crew to un-wedge that camel toe.”

“Is this going to turn into a gossipy little gathering where we say things like ‘Girl, did you see what she was wearing?’ while believing ourselves to be in ownership of the highest form of fashion?”

Dave thought about it for a moment before answering, “Yes.”

“Then, we must begin making snooty remarks henceforth.”

They discussed the fashion sense of everyone on the meteor. The Mayor was obviously the talk of Can Town with his wonderful taste in old bed sheets, cables, and ‘Mayo’ labels. Karkat could be a bit more colorful but they both agreed his sweaters would make excellent swants and they should definitely ask him to join them next time they wanted to try and be trendsetters again. Terezi was just passing in her dragon getup but they were absolutely not down with the clown.

“Nope. Zero out of ten points. Juggalo doesn’t look good on anybody and neither does the blood of your dead friends. I don’t even care if it’s colorful. Maybe it could pass for a summer style, but, like, barely.”

Rose pushed some hair behind her ear. “Plus, I’m not a fan of how the colors ‘bleed’ into one another.”

Dave snorted.

The transportalizer buzzed to life and Kanaya stepped into the room. Her eyes widened and her skin flickered.

“Now, this one is very fashionable. I don’t think I could ever be as ‘Gucci’- that’s how the local yokels would put it right? as her.”  
“You are just teeming with trendiness today, sis. Swants and now urban slang? Christ. Someone just give us our own MTV reality show already.”

“Oh my troll Prada. What are you wearing?” Kanaya covered her mouth with her hand in fright.

“Swants, darling.” Rose spun around. “Don’t you like them?”

“Rose… I think we need to spend some time apart.”

“Kanaya!” Rose’s cool broke instantly. She looked shocked, gaping at her matesprit. Dave looked on in amusement.

“Please.” Kanaya gave one more longsuffering look down at Rose’s swants, “Please come find me again when you’ve moved on from this trend.”

“But, I thought you’d be through everything with me… In sickness and in health?”

“I might not be that knowledgeable about all your earth customs but I can assure you, swants, as you call them, are not involved in human marital vows.”

“Well, then I suppose you’ll just have to remove them from me?” Rose gave Kanaya a suggestive smile easily sliding into flirtatious mannerisms.

Kanaya stared back blankly, looked her up and down, and then flushed a vibrant green. “Your respiteblock or mine?”

Rose crossed the room and slid her arm around Kanaya’s waist. “Yours. You wouldn’t want to see mine right now. I was planning on making more of these so…” The transportalizer flashed and Dave was left standing in place wondering what he had just witnessed.

“And once again, Dave is left by himself, single and wearing swants.”


	18. Eridan and Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: None  
> Word Count: 413

“She won’t even look at me anemone-more! I don’t know what to do to get her to sea me. What do you think, Kar?”

Karkat was beginning to get tired of hearing Eridan complain about his unrequited flushed feelings for Feferi. He had agreed to let Eridan get it out and even suggested being a stand-in moirail, but his feelings were getting to be a bit much to handle. And also he might actually be flushed for the guy too. That probably had something to do with his agitation… Probably.

“I’m so pathetically flushed for someone that’ll never look at me like that!”

Yeah. Him and Karkat both. Karkat papped his face and Eridan simmered down, leaning against him. Karkat felt his heart beat pick up its pace.

“Maybe no one will ever pity me. Maybe I’ll never fill my flushed quadrant. Maybe I’ll never fill any of my quadrants!”

Emotions bubbled up inside Karkat until he couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to confess. He had decided. Now was the perfect time. If this were one of his troll romcoms he’d be perched on the edge of his seat, breathless and waiting for the big reveal.

“I… I pity you! I think you’re the most pathetic guy I know and I can’t stop thinking about you! I feel so excited whenever you’re around. I can’t help wanting to spend time with you and be around you!” Karkat finished, huffing out air and feeling like his face was on fire. Eridan hadn’t spoken. He was just staring back at him with an unreadable expression. “Well?” Karkat inquired.

“Kar… that was… that was…” Karkat waited for his feelings to be returned or rejected. “That was so fuckin nice! You didn’t have to do that! I’m sure everything will work out with Fef. To think you’re that pale for me that you’d pretend to have flushed feelings for me.” Eridan sat up and hugged him.

Karkat hestitantly hugged him back in a trance. “I… what?”

Eridan pulled back and looked him in the eyes. “You are the best stand-in moirail ever. And you’re such a good friend. I feel better already. All the stress has completely evaporated. I probably won’t need another feelings jam for another week!” Eridan stood up and started walking towards the transportalizer. “I feel so good, I think I’m gonna try talking to Fef again! Thanks, Kar!”

Karkat was left sitting on his make-shift pile bewildered. “Was I just pale-zoned?”


	19. Roxy and Cronus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: Bullying, Alcohol and Drinking  
> Word Count: 462

“Give us your lunch money and we’ll break every bone in your body.”

“Isn’t that ‘and’ supposed to be an ‘or’?”

“No.” The self-proclaimed Greaser bad boy found himself in quite a pickle as the crowd of thugs continued to corner him in the alleyway. Damn. It was just like one of Rufioh’s dumb animes. Looking at the group, they all kind of looked like the delinquent type. They must have mistaken him for trying to be a tough guy and wanted to rough him up a bit to assert their dominance. One of the men grabbed the front of his shirt. There was probably only one way out of this.

“Is this a come on?” Cronus raised an eyebrow.

“Ew. No, you dick.” The guy seemed to grow more enraged and even disgusted. He raised a fist and- shit! Shit! Shit! Well, that backfired. Time to get the crud beaten out of him.

“Hey, you, asscracks! Leave that guy alone!” A femal voice stalled the guys punch and he turned around. A girl wearing an extraordinarily long pink scarf was standing hands on hips, facing the crowd. “You heard me you fuckin, nosers! Snerk!” She snort-laughed, “I meant posers! Sorry! Sorry!”

One of the delinquents asked her, “Are you inebriated?”

She pulled a bottle of vodka from her purse. “Hell yeah I am! Why, you want some?”

“But it’s like three in the afternoon.”

“And it’s a school day!” Another chipped in. The crowd murmured their agreement.

“Those sound like party pooper words. And I don’t take Titicism, heehee, criticism from party poopers!”

“You tryin to start a fight?”

The girl cracked her knuckles. “Bring it! I fight better when I’m drunk anyway. I can take all of you motherfuckers on!”

The group roared to life, completely unperturbed that their new opponent was a drunk girl. Cronus slid down the alleyway wall as he watched one guy after the next get owned by the girl. She was unbalanced and yet unpredictable, dodging every punch they threw and using some strange karate-like moves to counter.

Eventually, the last guy fled, leaving just the two of them in the confined space. Cronus stood up and addressed her. “So what’s your name, doll face?”

The girl looked him up and down and then winked at him. “Omg. Who are you?”

“W-You didn’t even see me sitting there? I was the guy getting bullied? The guy you just saved?”

“Oh, right. I was stopping them from bullying. I totes forgot about that. Well, then it looks like the day has been saved by Pink Power Ranger Roxy!” She posed and picked up her purse, stowing her booze safely inside. “Laterz!”

She wobbled away, leaving Cronus practically speechless. “Shit! I forgot to ask for her number!”


	20. Gamzee and Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: Religion  
> Word Count: 581

“That sort of tickles.” Karkat bit his lip to stop the corners of his mouth from rising. 

“Sorry, motherfucker.” Gamzee was being gentle with him, like he used to be before his murder spree. Karkat had suggested that Gamzee should paint his face in an attempt to feel closer as moirails. They didn’t see each other a lot on the meteor with Gamzee in hiding, and Karkat had already learned Gamzee wasn’t very big on being emotionally receptive towards him anymore.

Perhaps it was the notion that Gamzee might be able to reform Karkat or share his religion with him so that he could spare him from whatever his mirthful messiahs had planned that made him so tender towards him at the moment.

“You aren’t giving me human facial hair or drawing a bulge on my face right?”

Gamzee chuckled, “Nah, brother. This shit is sacred. I wouldn’t dare defile it with all that nonsense.”

“Alright.” Gamzee’s thumb traced under his eye and smoothed down his cheek. The touch felt so soothing. He couldn’t believe the same hands had culled his friends. Gamzee was staring at him, focused on the pattern he was painting. Karkat knew he wasn’t looking at him exactly but his eyes were still trained on his face and the attention felt nice.

He didn’t want to admit it but Gamzee was a neglectful moirail. Karkat was always the one to seek him out or leave him food by the vents. He always did the papping, shooshing, and pile making. Gamzee did nothing. But he was open when it came to telling Karkat about his religion and Karkat would take what he could get.

It was almost pitiful. Was he that desperate to maintain a quadrant? No. That wasn’t it. He was just lonely and wanted someone to talk to. Terezi and Dave were tiptoeing around the flushed quadrant and he didn’t want to get in the way of that anymore. The Mayor kept himself busy with his cans. Rose and Kanaya couldn’t spare a moment away from their canoodling to even chat with him. That meant he only had Gamzee left. But he wasn’t exactly “there” for him either.

Karkat breathed deeply and raised his hand so it was hovering over Gamzee’s. Gamzee stopped his ministrations. “I’m almost done, motherfucker.”

“I know. I just- I just want you to…” Karkat pulled Gamzee’s hand slightly away from his face and then papped it to his cheek a few times.

“You know, you just messed up the paint.” The scolding cut deep.

“I know.”

Gamzee sighed. “Well, I guess it was worth a shot to share this miracle with you. Already motherfuckin knew you weren’t gonna be serious about it though.” He stood up and put his hands in his pockets, uncaring that they were still covered in paint. “I’m gonna go back to the vents now.” Karkat watched him cross the room and climb into a vent without another word.

When he could no longer hear movement coming from the walls he picked up the hand mirror he’d brought and faced it to observe the paint. Gamzee had painted everything except an area around his mouth so that it gave the false impression that he was smiling. The side that had been papped was smudged and demented, smearing to look more like a grimace.

He felt tears sting his eyes and as they started to fall he purposely smudged the other side so his paint matched his frown.


	21. Dave and Nepeta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Tags: Mentions of Furries and Yiffing  
> Word Count: 405

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turnechGodhead [TG]

AC: :33 *ac perches herself on a rock to sunbathe and observes her current prey*  
TG: uh tg attempts to not really give a fuck and tries to ignore the strange roleplayer that somehow managed to get his chumhandle  
AC: :33 wait! no! dont leave!  
AC: :33 oops! i mean  
AC: :33 *ac pounces down to block tgs escape and then says wait! no! dont leave!  
TG: youre really dedicated to this whole cat fursona thing and i can respect that but i think you might find that im not really the rp type  
TG: i just dont think im ready to get animal tail butt plug deep into the furry community right now  
TG: appreciate the offer though  
AC: :33 *ac bats her big kitty eyes at tg and begs purrease? no one else will play with me!*  
TG: well when you entice me with bad cat puns how am i to resist  
AC :33 yay!  
AC :33 er *ac says yay!*  
TG: hold up i gotta think up a sweet fursona  
TG: okay i got it  
TG: i am now akwete purrmusk the furry and strangely muscular cat man  
AC: :33 *ac strolls over to inspect the new arrival*  
AC: :33 *hello there! She gr33ts akwete with a prod of her paw*  
TG: hey pussy cat whats hangin  
TG: had a good yiff lately  
AC: :33 * ac is confused about what akwete is talking about*  
AC: :33 * she tilts her head to the side as if to say whats yiff mean?  
TG: wait i thought your character could talk  
TG: oh whatever  
TG: akwete purrmusk pulls up a tab and looks up yiffing in google images  
TG: akwete sends the link to ac  
TG: yo www.thisistotallynotreallygoogleimageslinkforyiffing.com  
AC: :OO oh my whiskers!  
AC: :(( i think i might be done roleplaying for the night  
AC: :(( oh shucks! i went out of character again!  
AC: :(( *ac says all those things that she forgot to put in between astericks*  
AC: :(( * she then scurries away*  
AC: :33 goodbye tg! thank you fur playing with me a little bit!

arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

TG: ah no wait cat girl  
TG: that was kind of fun  
TG: i didnt even get to show you my characters bio yet


	22. Crabdad/Karkat, Avoir le mal de quelqu’un

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Start of the bonus round 2 prompts and fills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: Character death, Animal death, Sadstuck  
> Word Count: 422

It started as a small yet persistent pain in his chest. Every now and then Karkat would look at Terezi’s dragon plushies or Nepeta’s cat hat and the urge to see his lusus again would grow stronger. None of the other trolls seemed upset by their lack of guardian or if they were, they didn’t show it. Some were probably even relieved to be rid of them. Vriska was certainly happier and Feferi was positively soaking in all the freedom she now had.

But he missed Crabdad. Sometimes Karkat would think he heard the great crustacean dragging his massive claws on the floor and look around for him only to find that it was Tavros learning how to work his new robot legs.

The drama that Gamzee caused and then the humans joining the meteor provided a distraction for a little while, but as they began their three year voyage with nothing else to do, Karkat found himself still thinking about his lusus. And the more he thought about Crabdad the more his health suffered.

It started as a terrible headache that prevented him from sleeping, which was okay since he had only been having night terrors recently anyway. Then his stomach became an unpredictable mess of knots and flips. He had to run to the loadgaper daily, trying desperately to keep down his meals, of which he ate very few.

All of the physical and emotional anguish came to a climax when he collapsed in the designated living room space. Passed out, he awoke in a dream bubble. He was in his respiteblock in his hive. He stood up and hurried down the steps. “Crabdad?!” A great screech rang out and Karkat tried following the noise. It was leading to the kitchen. He hurried his pace and smiling for the first time in what felt like forever entered the kitchen.

His grin slipped into a horrified open-mouthed stare. This was the place he wanted the dreambubble to take him but not the time. He sunk to his knees as he took in the sight of his lusus crushed by heaps of rubble. The first drips of warm tears fell from his cheeks before he even noticed he had started crying.

He stood up and moved toward his custodian slowly before sitting down again and brushing away the dirt and debris that littered its face. The beast made a low growling sound in the back of its throat. Karkat cradled its head in his lap. “This time I get to say goodbye.”


	23. Dirk/Karkat, Aware

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: Nudity, Skinny dipping  
> Word Count: 625

His eyes skim over the water of the pool as he sits on the edge, dipping his feet in. Karkat always looks his best when he’s relaxed. His smile lights up his whole face and his eyelids lower, the lashes casting a shadow over his cheeks. “It’s been one hell of a summer.” He breathes out.

Dirk nods, taking a seat next to him and rolling his pant legs up before his feet join Karkat’s in the water. It’s cold but comforting. Dirk looks up at the night sky and takes in the stars. Tomorrow they’ll have to go back to their separate schools. They won’t be able to spend as much time as they’d like to with each other. Dirk shifts his attention to Karkat. His eyes are lit up with the reflection of the pool lights.

He turns to face Dirk and grins coyly. “Do you want to do something fun? Just as a final fling before summer ends?”

“Sure. What do you have in mind?”

Karkat gives him a mischievous expression before taking his shirt off. “Let’s go swimming one last time!”

Dirk can’t help the smile that spreads across his face. “Really? It’s cold.”

“I don’t care.” Karkat dumps his shirt next to him defiantly.

“I’m not wearing a bathing suit.”

Karkat unzips his pants and pulls them down. He kicks them to the side. “Neither am I.”

Dirk shakes his head. “I don’t want to get my clothes wet.”

Karkat bites his bottom lip and his cheeks flush a bright red. He slips out of his boxers and sets them down next to his clothes. “We don’t have to wear clothes.”

Dirk is utterly speechless as he takes in Karkat’s body. His eyes travel all the way down to his toes before he brings them up and locks eyes with him. Dirk can tell he’s nervous. Karkat isn’t usually very comfortable with his body so this is a big deal for him. Dirk slips his shirt off and tosses it on top of Karkats. “I’m down with that.”

Karkat beams and cannon balls into the pool. Dirk hurries, shimmying out of his clothes before Karkat can reemerge from the water. He slips in rather than jumps. Karkat comes up and looks his way. His hair is flattened against his scalp so more of his face and horns are visible. He looks hot wet. “You aren’t taking your shades off?”

Dirk sighs and removes his glasses, placing them delicately on the edge of the pool. “There. Happy?” He turns to face Karkat again but is surprised to find himself staring into his eyes instead. He’s gotten very close and Dirk is really trying to hold himself back from kissing him.

Karkat brushes Dirk’s damp bangs from his face. “Yeah. I’m happy.” And then Dirk can’t hold back anymore. He leans down and their lips brush and Karkat makes a little gasping noise before Dirk presses their mouths entirely against each other. He brings a hand up to cup Karkat’s face and he feels Karkat place his hands on his shoulders. Then they start to sink into the water. They break apart laughing but Dirk wraps his arms around Karkat’s hips and pulls him down into him, pressing them close together.

He kisses Karkat’s jaw and tries to say ‘I love you’ before he realizes Karkat won’t be able to hear him underwater. But Karkat’s face is full of affection for him and somehow he just knows that he understands and that the sentiment is returned. Karkat kisses his cheek and Dirk is no longer worrying about attending different schools and seeing less of his boyfriend. They have the entire night and a future after high school for them to think about.


	24. Bec Noir/PM, Bête noire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: Talk of beheading  
> Word Count: 190

Your blackness blends in with the vast dangerous span of space.

My white was like a star among the wreckage of the universe you left in your wake.

I craved to plunge my fist into your gut like you did with one of your own race.

I just wanted to chase you down and make you feel what I felt; I wanted to make you break.

 

You, the cause of my despair, the one that must atone.

Even when I had to give up what I loved more than anything,

Nothing hurt more than when you left me all alone.

But I have a sword and my desire to kill so I’ve taken wing.

 

And when I have chased you down and finally have you in my paws,

You won’t be able to ask for forgiveness with your head lobbed off.

Your kingdom’s harshness, their customs, their laws,

If I am a disease than they are merely a cough.

 

And so instead of avoidance of that which I hate most in this universe,

I will follow you into the dark recesses of another my Bête noire, my officer of Derse.


	25. Nepeta/Equius, custos morum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 420

“I’m gonna say it!” Nepeta bared her teeth and stood on her tip toes, threatening the much larger troll.

“Don’t you dare! You know how crude I think that language is!” Equius had his hands firmly planted on his hips, chastising his moirail.

“Here it comes!” Nepeta rebelliously growled at him.

“Nepeta, no!”

“Ffffff-!”

“Nepeta, I swear! You will cease this instant!”

“Fuuuuu-!”

“Don’t!”

“Fuck!” Nepeta finished the word.

Equius clenched his fists and let out a scream. He stomped over to one of his sparing robots and punched the contraption square in the face. It landed against the wall with a loud thud. He breathed heavily, dripping swea,t and then fell to his knees.

“Holy-” Equius’s head jerked around to face Nepeta and she quickly finished her thought more appropriately, “moobeast.”

“Equius shakily stood back up. “That reminds me. I could go for a cold glass of milk right now.” He stared down at himself. “And perhaps a few towels as well.”

Nepeta sighed and rolled her eyes. “I suppose I could help you fetch some since I did just rile you up like that. As an afterthought before she scurried away she added. “Sorry.”

Equius waited in his room, contemplating how he would respond to Nepeta’s outburst of profanities. He knew he couldn’t actually control her but the language was so vulgar and beneath her. Why did she insist on using it?

When she returned, Nepeta was carrying an armful of towels and two milk cartons with straws. “I alchemized straws so you won’t have trouble drinking your milk.” She placed everything in front of him and then poked one of the straws into a milk carton. “Just let me rest it on your palm. Then you can drink from the straw without crushing the container.”

Equius opened his palm toward her and she gave him the milk. “T-thank you, Nepeta.”

She let out a deep sigh. “It’s fine.”

Nepeta sat across from him and sipped at her drink quietly. Equius didn’t like seeing his moirail so unhappy and silent. She was better suited as her energetic and perky self.

“Um. Purr-haps, if you are feeling up to it, we could purr-ticipate in some roleplaying games after this?” He offered her a shy smile, a bit conscious of his broken and missing teeth.

Equius watched as Nepeta’s face brightened up. “Fur real?! Okay!” She picked up a towel and lobbed it at him. He caught it in his free hand. “But you have to clean yourself up fur-st!”


	26. Rose/Kanaya, Flâner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 119

We have no purpose or place to be.  
We’re wandering around aimlessly,  
viewing all the wonders of Paris.

I take your hand and I hold on tight,  
basking in the magic of your eternal light.  
Who needs Paris when to behold you is a sight?

My name falls from your lips and we trade smiles.  
I’m completely taken with your wit and wiles.  
I’d happily travel with you for miles upon miles.

I lean in close and whisper, “Rose.”  
I watch the blood pool into your cheeks, your nose.  
Gently you rest your head on my shoulder and your eyes close.

Peering down at you I feel at home.  
You giggle as I ask you, “Where to next. Rome?”


	27. Equius/Gamzee, folie de grandeur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: Strangulation mentioned  
> Word Count: 92

How righteous and noble.  
How formidable and STRONG.  
Your majesty renders me immobile.  
I’m mesmerized by your horns, so long.

You paint your honorable face like a jester,  
but I know the true foals aren’t you and me.  
It’s those whose words choose to pester  
and mock your immaculate pedigree.

Finally, you have taken your place,  
and have accepted the purity of your blood.  
Compared to your superior race  
the swill in my veins is just mud.

So wrap that bow string around my throat  
and stand above me, destroy me, gloat.


	28. Karkat/Kanaya, Geram

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 133

“Just don’t think about it,” he mutters  
as his eyes continue traversing his book.  
“B-but it’s absolutely hideous!” I can’t help the stutters  
that fall from my lips before he gives me a look.

“Kanaya, you have to stop obsessing about my sweater.  
I just don’t care about my appearance as much as you.”  
“But what I could make you would be so much better!  
I think you’d look splendid in something… blue?”

He puts his book down and lets out a groan,  
“If I let you do this what will come of it?  
Will you finally leave me the fuck alone?”  
I take his hand in mine and beside him I sit.

“I won’t bother you again. I won’t speak another word.”  
He sighs and he nods, my prayers had been heard.


	29. Alpha Dave/Jake, Gigil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: Flirting  
> Word Count: 124

You spot him across the ballroom  
chatting away in that ridiculous accent  
about his latest plundered tomb  
unaware of your gaze’s intent.

You, the new hot shot director, Dave Strider,  
make your way over to the crowd he’s attracted.  
The group disperses and Jake’s eyes grow wider  
more from seeing you, not because the people retracted.

He gives you a goofy smile and you can’t hold back  
What’s this kid playin at? He’s just too damn cute.  
You pinch one of his cheeks and his hand swats yours, “smack!”  
He’s blushing and the entire room has gone mute.

You feel yourself grin at his reaction. You like him too damn much.  
Reaching out again you brush his cheek and whisper, “We’ll be in touch.”


	30. Karkat/Kanaya, Gokotta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 448

The sky was a dark orange as Kanaya blinked away the sleep from her eyes. She sat up and noticed that Karkat had taken residence in her pile at some point during the night. He had probably just settled down for the day. She ran her fingers through his hair and he chittered appreciatively at the soothing gesture.

She yawned and stretched before standing up and bustling to her food block. Kanaya rummaged through her cabinets and began to make a pot of coffee. She peered out one of her windows and her brows furrowed. She would need to hurry if she was going to make the sunrise. She heard the round of birds chirp and she grew more agitated with the slow brewing of the coffee machine.

“Come on. Don’t be a pain.” She addressed it sternly.

“Kanaya?” Karkat appeared at the bottom of her steps, rubbing her eyes.

“Did I wake you?” Kanaya smiled apologetically.

“Fuck. Yeah.” He walked into the food block and kissed her cheek before sitting himself at the table. “But that’s fine. I probably wasn’t going to get much sleep without sopor slime anyway.”

Kanaya rested her hand on the place Karkat had pecked. He was really cute when he woke up. “I’m making coffee. Would you like some?”

“Yes, please.” Karkat slumped his head onto the top of the table.

“I’ll be drinking mine on the roof to watch the sunrise. Would you like to join me?”

“Hmm. I’d need some sunglasses. My eyes are more sensitive than yours. I really don’t know how you can stand it sometimes.”

“We’re all peculiar in our own right.” Kanaya pulled out two mugs and poured their coffee. She handed one to Karkat. “Did you want cream or sugar?”

“No. I think I can drink it like this. The taste will help wake me up.”

Kanaya brought the cup to her lips and drank. She also enjoyed it black. “This way to the roof then.” She led the way up the stairs and only paused at her respite block to pick up a pair of shades for Karkat to handle the intense brightness of the sun.

“These have a flower pattern on them…” Karkat dangled them away from him.

“Is there a problem with that?”

Karkat sighed and put them on reluctantly. “I guess not.” They were huge. He looked like someone on the cover of troll Vogue. Kanaya stifled a snicker.

Kanaya opened a hatch at the top of her stairs and stepped onto the roof. She had two chairs set up to observe the sunrise already in position. They took their seats and listened to the chorus of birds heralding the morning.


	31. John/Karkat, Iktsuarpok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 102

He’s still not here yet.  
You pace some more.  
He’s probably lost, you bet.  
Out of frustration you let out a roar.

Peering out the window of your hive  
you see no John in sight.  
You breathe in and count to five.  
Maybe he’s using his powers of flight?

If he doesn’t rush he’s gonna be late.  
You bite your lip and start to worry.  
Maybe he wanted to cancel the date?  
Come on John. Hurry, hurry, HURRY!

There’s a knock at the front and you rush to answer the door.  
John smiles. “Hey, Karkat. How long have you been waiting for?”


	32. Eridan/Feferi, Il n'est jamais trop tard pour bien faire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 110

It’s not too late!  
If you hurry you can save her!  
You don’t care that she treats you like fish bait.  
Your resolve would never wave-r.

She can wrong you as much as she likes  
and you wouldn’t even blink.  
As long as she gets to live before Jack strikes  
you’ll allow yourself to sink.

“Join me, Fef! Please! I lovve you!”  
If you say these words how would she reply?  
“For you there isn’t anyfin I wwouldn’t do.”  
And reel-ly you begin to ask yourself why?

The answer is she’s precious, she’s everyfin, she’s special.  
You want to protect her like the pearl she is. You’ll be her shell.


	33. The Sufferer/The Dolorosa, in statu quo ante bellum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: Sadstuck  
> Word Count: 87

It’s chaos. It’s calamity.  
It’s broken. It’s insanity.

It’s a grub. It’s a mutant.  
It’s my son. It’s my student.

It’s a revival. It’s a saving grace.  
It’s a survival. It’s a monster to face.

It’s a gathering. It’s a preaching.  
It’s spreading. It’s reaching.

It’s growing. It’s a war.  
It’s slowing. It’s no more.

It’s over. It’s all lost.  
It’s not over. It’s come with a cost.

It’s dark. It’s them thieving.  
It’s my son. It’s him leaving.

It’s chaos. It’s calamity.  
It’s broken. It’s insanity.


	34. Nepeta/Meulin, Kilig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: Sadstuck  
> Word Count: 411

Meulin had been spending a lot of time with her dancestor of late. She enjoyed watching her paint ships and roll around excitedly, she thinks, squealing madly. She couldn’t hear her but she was almost certain Nepeta’s voice would be as adorable as her appearance.

But whenever Nepeta rested her head in her hand and start doodling her OTP, Meulin felt herself wince. She watched Nepeta’s eyes, the glassy look of a lovesick, six sweep old troll girl and she knew in that moment what was transpiring.

Nepeta was daydreaming about her own love life. She was probably imagining her white, well, grey knight scooping her up and taking her to live happily ever after. Nepeta sighed deeply and Meulin felt a pang in her heart. But that wasn’t love. She was only in love with the idea of being in love.

Real love was cruel and bitter. It sweeps you up into its folds and as soon as you think you’re safe, curled up by your lover’s side, taking the best cat nap of your life, a piercing shriek of reality rings through you and your whole world comes crashing down until you’re left alone in a silent world you didn’t know existed. That’s love.

Nepeta’s cheeks blushed an olive hue and she peered up at Meulin, an innocence hanging around her despite previously making an excellent kill for drawing supplies. She smiled and tilted her head, curious of Meulin’s gaze. Meulin held back any tears she felt welling up behind her eyes as she slid over to her dancestor and observed her handy work. She was improving.

“Do you think my OTP will become cannon one day?” Nepeta made sure she was facing Meulin so that she could read her lips.

Meulin opened her mouth to speak but she felt no vibrations in her throat to indicate that she had started speaking. She could give Nepeta false hope or she could give her the truth. Both options were unbelievably cruel and overwhelmingly kind. She looked down at the drawing and the dream bubble flickered so that for a moment it resembled her and Kurloz. Meulin jolted upright, startled at the sudden change but it quickly morphed back without Nepeta noticing.

Meulin signed a ‘yes’ and nodded. “Your ship is absolutely purr-fect!” Nepeta beamed and turned back to her drawing. “I’m so sorry,” Meulin kept her thoughts to herself, “We’re just two hearts destined for a sad and lonely existence.”


	35. John/Dave, Koi No Yokan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 124

You only ever spoke through the internet.  
But you really wanted to see him.  
You always thought that when you met,  
he’d bring the sun, make everything less dim.

But you never expected to be blown off your feet.  
Rather than lighting up your world, he shook it.  
He hit you like a hurricane. He made your heart beat.  
Or maybe he just reached inside you and took it.

Even you didn’t expect time to just stand still  
when you first laid your eyes on his form.  
But his breeze must have overpowered your aspect’s will  
as he shaped your emotions into an uncontrollable storm.

You had no idea that when he dropped in from above  
you’d be head over heels, falling in love.


	36. Kanaya/Eridan, Naco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 505

Kanaya was wandering around a dreambubble in search of her dancestor. She had more questions about her newfound vampirism and her purpose in perpetrating their species existence. A faint call caught her attention and she turned around to see a troll approaching her from a distance. They were calling out to her. “Who-?”

“Kan!” It was Eridan. Kanaya involuntarily scrunched her nose and tried to walk away in disgust but Eridan was persistent. “Kan, will you wait for a goddamn second! I’ve got somefin to say to you!” His voice annoyed her just as much as it did when he was alive.

Kanaya smoothed the muscles on her face to take on a look of complete and utter nonchalance before stopping to face him. “Didn’t Feferi ban you from using fish puns?” Oh, yes. Surely, that would sting.

Eridan pushed up his glasses, ignoring the barb. “Actually, I talked it over with a doomed timeline Fef and she took back the ban for me.”

Kanaya crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “I wonder if it actually counts if it wasn’t the Feferi you murdered in cold blood. Do you think this one also perished at your hands? How many Feferi’s here do you think died because of you? I’m genuinely curious now.”

Eridan sneered. “It’s probably the same as the amount of Eridans you’ve sent here. Don’t get all high and mighty, Kan! Besides, I didn’t come to find you to bicker. I came to talk.”

“Oh.” Kanaya lowered her arms, surprised. Perhaps Eridan intended to apologize then?

“I came to tell you that I forgive you!”

“You what?” Kanaya’s glow brightened and Eridan threw a hand over his eyes to shield them from the light.

“Well, I mean, I can’t expect someone of lower blood to fight fair and not be so barbaric. Your freaky vampire powers were the only reason I wasn’t able to take you on. You had an advantage. You cheated. Plus, you cut me in half with a chain saw! That’s so bloody and uncouth! Tearing a troll to shreds like that. You screamed like a fuckin banshee. Nearly culled me with a heart attack!”

“Eridan Ampora.” Kanaya pulled her lipstick from her sylladex and she watched with satisfaction as every muscle in Eridan’s body tensed. “You murdered the troll you loved, almost murdered the guy you were jealous of, and left me with a gaping hole in my stomach. I’m uncouth? I’m barbaric? Have you seen what you’re wearing?” She applied the lipstick.

Eridan looked down at his clothes in dread. “W-what’s wrong with-”

“Either something is wrong with your thinkpan or you have no sense for aesthetics! You’re wearing pinstriped pants and a cape! A cape! You look like one of those cheesy villains from Saturday morning troll cartoons. Before deciding whether or not one of us is more sophisticated than the other, take a look in the goddamn mirror and reevaluate everything in your life.”

Kanaya sashayed away confidently and triumphantly, leaving Eridan a stuttering mess.


	37. Sollux/Eridan, Narguer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 116

You have him at a disadvantage.  
Eridan’s dangling from a cliff.  
You attempt to peer over the ledge  
He’s hanging, muscles tense, arms stiff.

You bend down and sneer as he squirms  
“You look like you’re struggling, Eridan,”  
You let out as he writhes like a worm.  
“I wonder who might help you. Oh, right. I can.”

“But I won’t.” You sit back and enjoy the show.  
“How long do you think your webby hands will keep their hold?  
Don’t you wish you had psionic powers?” you taunt your foe.  
He doesn’t reply. “Nothing to say, Eridan? That’s cold.”

Finally, he speaks and you relish his call,  
“Sol, you fuckin asshole! Help me before I fall!”


	38. Dirk/Jake, Naz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 137

Your eyes follow me, traveling down my form,  
as I knowingly walk down the dungeon path.  
Your gaze tells more than if you were to inform  
me of your feelings. It helps me invoke my wrath.

I get an odd sense of confidence from your stare.  
An invincible feeling overtakes me and I believe  
It’s because of your persistent love and care  
that provides me with so much relief.

I sigh through my gas mask and I can hear them up ahead.  
Our opponents are hard to beat but I am not afraid.  
There is nothing to be scared of if I am dead.  
But you won’t let that happen so I I’ll leave those things unsaid.

I bask in your affection and I take a dive.  
With you by my side, I’ve never felt more alive.


	39. John/Karkat, Pochemuchka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: Blood (Nose bleed)  
> Word Count: 438

“So, like, what evolutionary benefit comes out of your horns being candy corn colored?” John prodded at Karkat’s horn and Karkat seethed. He was trying to read his book but John was making it difficult to concentrate.

“I’m reading, John,” Karkat growled out between his teeth.

“Do the bright colors scare away predators on your planet? Is that their purpose? What is the purpose of your horns anyway? Do you guys, like, butt heads to fight for potential mates?”

“Are you comparing me to one of your planet’s strange baabeasts?” Karkat angrily flipped a page, trying to ignore his rising fury.

“Well, I mean, why do you even have them? Are they secretly erogenous zones?”

“No, you intrusive nookwhiff!” The words in Karkat’s book were looking more garbled until he was only seeing red.

To Karkat’s surprise and reluctance, John grabbed both of his horns in his hands and steered Karkat’s head to the right. “They make a pretty good steering wheel. Beep! Beep! Meow! The Karcab is coming through!”

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Karkat threw his book down and stood up quickly, head-butting John in the face in the process.

John fell backwards and gripped his chin. “Ouch! What the hell, Karkat? That really hurt.”

“Are you fucking serious right now? These, John,” Karkat pointed to the nubs protruding from his head, “Are not for playing. They aren’t for peacocking for mates or for fighting and they certainly aren’t for…” Karkat paused and looked away embarrassed, “that other stuff you mentioned.” He shook his head and threw a hand on his hip, using the other to point to his horns. “These, you primitive earth monkey, are for adorning my scalp and nothing else. Maybe they had some purpose sweeps ago but whatever that purpose was it sure as fuck isn’t relevant now. Are you happy? Have I satisfied your sudden and invasive interest in my horns?” Karkat stood quiet, breathing heavily for a few moments as he finished his rant.

John stared at him blank faced until a dribble of blood slipped down from his nose.

“Oh, shit. You’re bleeding!”

John ‘s expression grew panicked and he wiped under his nose. “Fuck!” The two scrambled around to find a tissue.

As soon as John’s nose was stuffed with two ply toilet paper, Karkat relaxed. Sometimes being in a kismesitude with a human was tiring. They bled easily and freaked out over every little injury. John giggled at Karkat’s exhausted expression. “You are the most disturbing creature I have ever had the misfortune to lay my gander bulbs on, John Egbert.”

John only continued to smile. “Hate you too, Karkat.”


	40. Vriska/Eridan, Schadenfreude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: Bullying  
> Word Count: 534

Vriska loved watching Eridan in pain. Physical was nice, but there was a limit to the satisfaction she got from hurting him. No. What she enjoyed most was the delicious shattering of Eridan’s emotions as she watched him dance around his unrequited flushed feelings for his moirail. It didn’t even require her to do anything. The sucker fish just got himself hooked all on his own.

The pitchest Vriska had ever felt for Eridan had always been when he grew angry for Feferi’s sake. If Vriska brought up their delicate relationship or how ironically air-headed the water heiress was his eyes would burn in a way that actually made her feel some fear.

Then they would battle. His ferocity was always great in those moments but his anger made him sloppy. He would be flustered, sometimes not even able to pull his harpoon out in time before Vriska cast her die. The matches were always easily finished. She would be sitting, perched on the railing of her ship, watching him flounder around, trying to find some scrap of wood to stay afloat on. The whole scene was ridiculous considering that he was a seadweller and could breathe underwater. 

One day, a new idea struck Vriska as she observed Eridan thrashing around below her. “Hey, Eridan, why don’t you ever bring Peixes to our little play dates?”

Eridan flipped his sopping hair out of his face as he glared daggers at her. She felt a shudder go up her spine. “She’s not the type to like this sort of thing. She’s a nice girl, unlike you. She’d hate to be involved in our fighting.”

Vriska crossed her legs and pouted, resting her chin on a tightly curled fist. “Are you saying Peixes is too good to play with me?

Eridan did something that Vriska had never seen him do before in her presence. He smiled. “She’s too good to be in the same vicinity as you, let alone play with you,” His smile shrunk as he continued, “She’s too good for me too.”

A sadistic simper crept its way across Vriska’s face. “That’s right! She is too good for you. You’ll probably always be stuck as her moirail. No matter how pitiful you are she’d never pity you enough to feel flushed for you,” She laughed haughtily, “She’ll never be yours.”

A beam of light whizzed by Vriska’s head. Surprised, she peered down at Eridan. His face was twisted in pain and turmoil, holding his harpoon so that she was his target.

“You almost hit me.” Vriska stated as she felt Eridan’s frustration wash over her like an exhilarating wave.

“I intended to.” His voice was serious and threatening.

“You are the most misfortunate creature I’ve ever met. You can count today as your only lucky day because I’m going to let you live just so that I can watch you die on the inside over and over every other day for the rest of your miserable life.” Vriska turned away and walked to her steering wheel. She raised the anchor and moved the boat so that it would leave Eridan drenched in its wake. It felt good to leave him drowning in his misery.


	41. Jane/Roxy, Schnapsidee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 577

Roxy was lounging on the sofa, an empty margarita glass dangling from her hand. The party had been wild and Jane’s catering had been exceptional. Roxy hiccupped and giggled throwing an arm over her face.

“Roxy, we really should get you to bed now,” Jane yawned, entered the room, and started to straighten things as she continued to walk towards Roxy.

“But, Janey, I’m twenty-one now! I don’t have a- Hic! - bedtime.” Roxy sat up on the couch and pouted, tossing her scarf over her shoulder in defiance.

Jane crossed her arms and sighed, “Well, what do you want to do then?”

Roxy leaned back into the cushions and gave it some thought. “I think I want to back into The Pentagon,” Roxy went wide eyed and cackled, “I meant hack. Beep! Beep! Here comes my gorgeous ass backing into The Pentagon!”

“Absolutely not. There will be no trips to The Pentagon and there will certainly be no hacking tonight. You’re thoroughly wasted. It’s obviously not a good idea.”

“Maybe you’re just not wasted enough to know how brilliant it is! Get me my laptop!”

Jane threw her hands up. “I won’t be a part of this!”

“But I’m the birthday girl! Come on, Janey! I can’t hack into The Pentagon without my side lick.” Roxy snorted. “Side kick.”

Jane’s lips tightened into a line and she looked away, hands on hips.

Roxy got up and leaned against her. “Jaaaaaaaneyyyyyyy.” She slung her arms around Jane’s shoulders. “Come on, Jaaaane. Please do me this little itsy bitsy spider of a favor?”

“Oh, shucks! Very well, but you have to promise not to get caught.” Jane groaned and stomped off to fetch Roxy’s laptop.

“Aw yisss! Hacker babe RoLal ready for some skill displayin. You better watch every finger movement, Janey. This is gonna be so sick, you might have to take me to the hospital afterwards. Promise you’ll get me a hot doctor?”

“I honestly am not sure if I should keep agreeing with the things you keep asking of me.” Jane handed Roxy her computer and sat herself down on the sofa.

Roxy set the laptop down on the floor and began to type madly. “This is gonna be so frickin rad!” As her hands glided along the keyboard Jane could only watch on in amazement.

The doorbell rung twenty minutes later and Jane jumped up, startled. “R-Roxy, how fast does The Pentagon usually catch and track down hackers?”

“Prob doesn’t take em too long if Transformers was anything to go by.”

“Then, that gent at the door might be-?” Roxy’s eyes remained focused on the screen as Jane slowly crept towards the door. She nervously reached for the handle and threw the door back. “We’re sorry for hacking into The Pentagon! I told her not to do it!” She screamed at a pizza delivery guy.

He looked around confused. “Uh, I’ve got one large meat lovers pizza for a Roxy Lalonde and the bill says it’s free. You guys must have had a coupon or something, right?”

Roxy bounced up from her spot in the living room. “That’s for me!” She took the box and thanked the man with a tip before closing the door. “I hacked into Pizza Hut’s website and got us some free pizza. Now we’re ready to hack into The Pentagon!”

“Oh, dear God. I almost had a heart attack. You are going straight to bed.”

“But-”

“This is nonnegotiable.”


	42. Eridan/Feferi, Tatemae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 416

When his feelings bubble over and he starts running his gills about taking out all the landdwellers, Feferi knows he doesn’t mean it. She watches Eridan pace around his hive, a hive he insists on keeping on the surface he claims to despise.

It isn’t him talking. It’s his blood. He’s just trying to go along with whatever societal pressures were placed upon him as a violet blooded seadweller. He’s royalty and he knows he needs to act like it. But it’s obvious that’s not his true intentions.

He has too many landdwelling friends to be serious about going through with his plans of genocide. He wouldn’t be able to complain to Karkat anymore or fill a black quadrant with Vriska. And he wouldn’t want to upset Fef, his precious moirail, who also holds dear all their other wonderful friends.

She giggles and leaps from his sofa, catching at his cape when she realizes physics are different on land, and she almost takes a dive to the floor. He stops ranting and falls immediately quiet, waiting for her to gather herself and speak.

“Eridan, don’t talk like that! It reel-ly scares me when you glub on and on about those things.” She hugs him and he awkwardly holds his arms up, hesitant to close them around her. “You’d never actually do anemone-ything to harm our fronds, right?”

He groans and then finally rests his arms around her shoulders. “Whale…” And now she knows he doesn’t mean it. He just wanted to use a fish pun for her and she’s delighted to hear it.

“Whale nothing!” She teases, pulling away.

He throws his hands on his hips. “Excuse me, princess, but I’ll whale whenever I want to whale!” His stutter makes this particular sentence sound comedic and he knows it’ll make her laugh. “How else do you plan on feeding that hungry lusus of yours?”

“Hmm…” She fakes a moment of being lost in thought before answering, “Whale then, I guess it’s okay if you only do it to feed my lusus.”

In these brief moments of ease and happiness Feferi watches as he lowers his proud seadweller shoulders into a more relaxed position and his almost permanent sneer is calmly sculpted into the smile of a six sweep old boy who has too many responsibilities and pressures already weighing him down to the point where he feels like he’s drowning. He breathes out a sigh of relief and her heart swells like the tide. “Thanks, Fef.”


	43. Roxy/Dirk, Togok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: Drinking  
> Word Count: 421

“Come on, Dirk! You and me, man to man!”

“Roxy, unless there’s something you haven’t told me, I believe the correct phrasing would be ‘man to woman’.” Dirk crossed his arms and sighed. “Also, I’m hesitant to do this.”

“Dirk, we need to settle this once and for all. Who among the Stri-Londes can hold their booze best?”

“Then why aren’t Rose and Dave here?”

“Dave’s a light weight and Kanaya didn’t want Rose to participate.”

“Cause she knows we’re gonna be embarrassing ourselves.”

“Dirk, are you tryin to tell me that you either can’t hold your liquor or are a big scaredy cat? I thought Striders didn’t back down from a challenge.”

A glimmer of light passed over Dirk’s shades as he grabbed the bottle of vodka in front of him. “It is so fucking on now.”

Roxy picked up her booze. “We chug it! First one to finish wins or first one to stop loses.”

Dirk brought the rim of the bottle to his lips, indicating he was ready when Roxy was.

Roxy matched his starting position. “On your mark…” Dirk’s grip on the bottle tightened. “Get set…” Roxy winked at him. “Go!”

Loud gulping and swishing noises filled the room as Dirk and Roxy raced to the ends of their bottles. The constant stream of alcohol flowing down their throats burned but they pushed through it. Dirk eyed Roxy around the side of his bottle and noticed she was just a smidgeon ahead of him. He tilted his head back and tried to take more in at once. It was too much and he had to pull the bottle away to cough. He only had a sliver left. He watched as Roxy finished off the last of her vodka and raised her fist in the air to celebrate.

She put the bottle down. As she tried to straighten herself up she cheered, “Yeah!” before falling backwards onto the pile of stuffed animals she liked to sit in for gaming. “Fuck!”

“You’re telling me.” Dirk reached for the edge of the coffee table to hold himself steady and miscalculated the distance. He wobbled and fell to his knees on the floor. “Holy hell. How do you function normally like this?”

Roxy giggled. “That’s my secret, Dirk. I’m always drunk.”

“There is no possible way you do all your hacking inebriated. I’ve seen the stuff you work with and I can barely do it sober.”

Roxy pushed herself up on the pile to give Dirk two pistols and a wink.


	44. Bro/Dave, Veterstrikdiploma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 647

Dave’s alarm blasted music out of its speakers and he jolted upright in bed. He groaned, running his hands through his bedhead. School today was gonna suck. He had a biology test, a geometry test, and a project due in his English class.

He stretched and finally hopped out of bed, groggily feeling around on his nightstand until he found his shades. He dressed, packed his bag, and then gave himself the once over in the mirror. Stunning. The epitome of a well groomed teenager ready to sit through all his shit classes.

He peeked out of his room and observed the hallway. It was quiet. And, continuing with conventional phrasing, too quiet. He slowly stepped out and closed the door behind him without a sound. He needed to get breakfast, brush his teeth and put his shoes on at the front door before he skedaddled.

Delicately, he slunk along the wall. A floorboard creaked beneath him and he stopped. He didn’t detect any movements. Maybe the sound had gone unnoticed? Maybe his Bro wasn’t even home?

He quickened his pace and flung himself out of the hallway, expertly rolling into the kitchen. Dave took a moment to catch his breath before grabbing a granola bar from the cabinets and stuffing it into his bag. He’d eat it on his way to school. Stealthily, his head peered over the top of the counter. He had the bathroom in his line of vision and no Bro was spotted in any direction.

He backed up and readied himself. Then he ran, leaped, and slid over the counter. He hit the ground and sprinted to the bathroom. He was safe again. He picked up his red toothbrush and started to clean his teeth. He practiced keeping his face neutral in the mirror as he brushed. After rinsing, he checked his phone. He had five minutes before he had to leave. Perfect. All that was left to do was retrieve his shoes.

Dave opened the bathroom door so that it was slightly ajar and carefully scanned outside. All clear. This would be a straight bolt to the entryway and then he was home free. His grip on the wood work of the door tightened as he prepared himself to run. Finally, he took off, racing forward. His socks slid on the wood floor and he caught himself on a corner of the wall near the front door.

He looked around. Still no sign of Bro. Yeah, that would have been embarrassing to have him see that. Dave let out a sigh of relief and put his shoes on, tying the laces properly before opening the front door.

“Jesus fuck!” He fell back onto his ass as the door swung open and his Bro stepped into the apartment. “You nearly gave me a heart attack, Bro!”

His Bro handed him a piece of paper and pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. Dave looked the paper over. It was in another language.

“What the hell is this?”

“It’s a Veterstrikdiploma. I realized the other day that I never gave you one when you learned to tie your shoes so I’m giving it to you now. I’m so proud of you, little man.”

Dave turned the paper over. “It says it’s from the Netherlands.”

His Bro pushed past him and into the kitchen, apparently finished with his feigned theatrics. “Yeah, well, I thought it was a cool thing I found online so I bought one. It signifies your manhood, Dave. Hang it proudly in your room.”

Dave tucked the diploma into his bag. “Sure, Bro. When I get home.”

His Bro called out to him, mouth stuffed with cereal, “Have a good day at school, darling.”

Dave waved him off as he closed the door behind him. His Bro was just on some other level of irony Dave couldn’t even comprehend yet.


	45. John/Karkat, Zaida

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major Content Tags: None  
> Word Count: 548

“JOHN!” Karkat kicked in John’s bedroom door. “I’m taking over your planet. I’ve decided.”

John sat at his computer and sighed, completely unfazed with the sudden declaration. “And why’s that?”

Karkat crossed his arms and puffed up, obviously irritated that he wasn’t getting the attention he so rightfully deserved. “I just realized I shouldn’t have to be the one coping with how your primitive species goes about daily life. My life would be so much simpler if I could just make everyone else adopt Alternian culture.”

John got up from his place at his desktop and finally looked at Karkat. “What strange human artifact is giving you trouble today?”

Karkat let the air out of his chest and he slumped over reluctant to give an answer. “The clothing ablutions trap.”

John snickered, “The washing machine?”

“It’s not funny! I am seriously contemplating taking over your feeble little planet because of this!”

John closed his eyes in thought. “Hmm. Well, I can’t let you do that.” He crossed the room and playfully picked Karkat up and tossed him onto his bed.

Karkat floundered around on the sheets “What are you doing?”

“Hopefully, I’m about to teach my kismesis a lesson about knocking before entering and also save the world from his threat of invasion. First my bedroom and next the world? I don’t think so. Not on my watch.”

“John, you are the most loathsome human being I’ve ever laid eyes on.” Despite Karkat’s words he gripped the front of John’s shirt and pulled their faces closer together. His cheeks reddened. “What kind of lesson was this again?”

John teasingly traced his hand up Karkat’s side. “Was this the first thing that came to mind when I said the word ‘lesson’? You’ve got a pretty dirty mind, Karkat.”

Karkat huffed but tried to inch closer for a kiss. John pulled back just out of reach to annoy him. “Oh please. You threw me on your sleeping slat. It’s not like you were being very subtle in what your intentions were since the very beginning.”

“And you didn’t come barging into my room to bother me just so I would get stirred up? Is there even anything actually wrong with the washing machine?”

Karkat grumbled beneath him, frustrated that John was only hovering above him and avoiding his advances. “It kind of annoys me how square every side is. Reminds me of those obnoxious obstructions on your cranium that help your human gander bulbs see properly.”

John chuckled and reached into his bedside dresser drawer. “Are you even trying? That is the worst excuse yet.” Metal clinked against the wood of his dresser and Karkat looked over to inspect the noise.

“John… what are those?” John pulled out his trick handcuffs waving them in the air to show them off. “Don’t you even-!”

Before Karkat could finish his complaint John had Karkat’s hand hooked to the bedpost. John slid off the bed and walked to his bedroom door.

“JOHN!” Karkat struggled, fuming.

“I’ll be back later. Gotta go tell the president he’s welcome for saving the world from an alien invasion.”

“You are so full of shit!” Through his screams, Karkat was irritated to find himself smiling. “I hate you!”

John waved goodbye before leaving the room. “Hate you too!”


End file.
